Beside Still Waters Ministries

I guess I should stop saying “I’m going to post [day/week] about whatever…” because the reality of my life is that it may or may not happen. :-/ The seminars I went to at Ichthus and Alive are still cooking in my brain, and I don’t want to post about it until I process it further.This week I’m going to the Aldersgate Conference on the Holy Spirit. Aldersgate is a ministry connected to the United Methodist Church, for the spiritual renewal of the UMC. This will be my 4th year, I think…no, my 5th year going to it, and it is always a HUGE blessing. I warned the church where I’m currently attending that I may be a pretty on-fire and outward in my worship for a few weeks afterwards. I’d rather be that way all the time, but this is a very traditional quiet church and it would be overwhelming to them.Last year was an awesome conference - I got to sing in the worship team, and I was so on fire it took until I got laid off to simmer down some. What has bothered me a lot lately is that despite my best efforts to keep from getting down, getting laid off from the church has really hurt my walk with the Lord. It isn’t that I don’t trust Him, it is that not only does the future look really blurry, so does the present. I wish I could understand what is going on — I know, I know, our ways are not His ways, and there is no way I could understand God’s plan. I’m just tired and frustrated that at the end of a year that for the first time I truly felt like I was totally focused on Him and being obedient to His will, the wheels came off and now I feel like I’m lost.I’ll keep trusting that He will work it all out, and that He will give me my heart’s desires.